sleep and dream research

It makes me laugh noticing changes in people, and knowing that it’s solely due to someone else.

Change for yourself, and not someone else.

I see blurry, colorless snapshots of moments.

A flash of your arm, your hand, your cigarette, one night, against the wet tar; the city lights reflecting on it like huge clusters of stars.

There is no motion into the next image.

It just appears. Another snapshot of the moment seconds after. I only see your arm at your side, and the cigarette that was dropped; floating in the stream of rainwater falling down the slope next to the sidewalk with soggy leaves.

I wonder the way memories replay themselves in other peoples’ minds.

You are so, so strong. You’re such an incredible being, and I know, I know things are messy and difficult, and sometimes you can’t have what you want most. But, it’s okay, it’s so okay. It’s more than that. Such horrible things can happen at the worst times, but that doesn’t mean it will be horrible forever. The universe does this thing, where it seems like it’s directing all it’s anger and hate towards you, but that’s only because it wants you to come out stronger, and better, and happier. And I know you’ll get there. Even if it’s hard to see, and swallow.

Ben and I, and all your biddies at Simmons are here to hold you up. Always.

I love you so much; you’re such a fucking great person, Kayla.

The Pie and the Face are both always here, and I will spoon you for always if you need me to~